P.G. Smith Author

Everyone is stressed out lately. My daughter is a therapist, and she said anxiety and depression are through the roof. She has more clients than she can fit in, which is not surprising. Both the weather and national politics are increasingly erratic. I don’t have to list the causes of worry; we all know. These are unsettling times, and we all feel it.

We do actually have the tools to deal with trying times, but many people don’t know them or have forgotten. I used to teach a course and write a blog on positive thinking, but even I can feel myself backsliding. So, I think it’s time to dig out those ideas and remind ourselves that strength, stability, and resilience are traits of character that we build gradually by cultivating the right habits. Anyone can do it, and it will sustain you through difficult, even traumatic times, but it takes practice. Just like playing the piano or lifting weights.

Ancient philosophers and mystics have been telling us for 3000 years that ‘we are what we think.’ We cannot control the world around us, but we can control how we react to it. Our own thoughts, emotions, and decisions are all we can control. For centuries they have been telling us. So, why don’t we listen? I think we don’t believe it.

We are too busy and distracted to practice what it takes to make it true, so we don’t believe that anyone can do it. My students never believed it at first. ‘I can’t help it if I’m angry, or worried, or sad. Someone else makes that happen to me,’ they would say. That’s how it feels, but that’s not how it has to be. With practice, we can control our attitudes, reactions, and decisions. As Aristotle argued, by cultivating good habits we gradually form traits of character that lead to a better–that is a stronger, happier, more stable, and more resilient life.

So, I will start giving you a little assignment each week to start you on your journey to freedom and peace of mind without retreating from the world. Here’s your first assignment: think of all the bad things in the world that are not happening to you today. I, personally, am not hungry, sick, homeless, destitute, cold, or in danger. I don’t live in a war zone or have polluted water. I’ll bet you can say the same. A lot of bad things are not happening to you right now. Remind yourself of that whenever you feel grumpy or anxious.

If you don’t like the global approach, make a personal list: ten bad things that have happened to you that didn’t happen today. Here’s mine: I didn’t slip on the ice and crack my head open, lose my wallet, spill coffee all over myself in public, break my arm, catch the flu, lose my phone, run out of gas, spill wine on someone important, leave my credit card in the machine at the car wash, or set my car on fire (long story, another time.) How lucky was I today? So, make your list, remind yourself of it every day, and have a good week. I’ll give you another tip and more ancient wisdom next week. (This may sound silly, but it really works if you stick with it. Small steps add up.)