P.G. Smith Author

A picture says a thousand words. The sun shining through the Stonehenge on New Year’s Day says it all. The New Year brings hope, promise, and aspiration. It’s a metaphor for turning the page, starting fresh, doing better than you managed to do last year.

Many people give up on New Year’s resolutions, but I believe in them. I believe they are worthwhile and useful, even if we don’t ever succeed in fulfilling them. They are still worth attempting.

Not the big, unrealistic goal-oriented daydreams, like: I’m going to become the top blogger on U-Tube this year, or I’m going to win Everybody’s Got Talent, or play for the NBA.

I don’t even mean achievable, but gigantic goals like: I’m going to run the NY marathon this year, or publish a book, or master the guitar, or become fluent in French. There are people who can achieve such goals in a year, but they are people who have been working toward them long before they make that resolution.

A version of those resolutions is ok for the rest of us, but they need to be re-phrased. I’m going to run every day, or write every day, or practice my guitar or my French every day, and maybe I’m going to take classes, get feedback, training, instruction. These resolutions, if you follow them, create skills through habits that lead you to the goals you ultimately want to achieve. And they are worthwhile skills even if you never achiece the ultimate goal.

But what I have in mind is not anything as arduous as that or even result oriented at all. I call these Aristotelian resolutions. They are small steps intended to improve your character, to make you more like the person you wish you were or would like to be. This year I’m going to be a better listener. I’m going to be more courteous to people around me, including waiters, cashiers, salespeople, etc.

This year I’m going to keep in touch with someone (mom, dad, son, daughter, sibling, friend) someone you wish you had kept in touch with. This year I will pay attention to what I’m doing–to be in the moment and not be so distracted. This year I will look at my phone less, maybe even turn it off sometimes. This year I’m going to notice the beauty around me: sunlight, colors, flowers, trees, architecture, art. This year I will appreciate the taste of my food. The list is endless and it should be your own list, not mine.

These are all things that all of us can do but usually don’t. We don’t have to aspire to them; we just have to remember them. A new year’s resolution can be a reminder. You should only pick one or two–not a whole bunch. Maybe just pick one thing: this year I’m going to do– or not do–. If you practice all year, even in a month or two, it will become a habit, it will become a trait of character that will make you more like the person you would like to be.